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[19 Jun 2025|01:17am] |
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[19 Jun 2009|02:04am] |
Emily Grey
This is how the world ends. It's a bit much like how it begins, a dark quiet nothing. Interrupted by bright lights ushering it into the new stage of it's existence. After all energy cannot be created nor destroyed. But what does that even mean? Since I was a little girl I always believed that there had to be more to this life than what I saw. But as the years passed my hopes for that began to dwindle. The colors that once seemed harsh and blinding in their brightness now seemed dull, graying at the edges. By the time I was six I had accepted my gloomy fate. My father turned to my mother one day as she poured him his morning cup of coffee and said, "I love you Marion, but you just aren't the one." He kissed my forehead and I never saw him again. My mother was naturally devastated, enough so that she would take her own life that very same day.
Oddly enough I wasn't sad. to this day I can't remember being sad. I always felt this disconnect with them, like I was a just a ghost inhabiting a space that was no longer my own. My grandparents took me in. And for the first time in a long time the place I slept felt like a home. The colors never seemed as vivid, but at least I felt a lingering threat that maybe one day they would. The years went by and I fell into a routine, everyday exactly the same as before. And then pop-pop got sick and by the time I was 14 I had to do what I could to help my elderly nana care for him. This time it was hard. Seeing someone who you care for slowly waste away before your eyes. When the moment came and he took his last labored breath it was a relief, for us both. Because in the end he was better off than having to suffer the way he had.
My nana loved him very much. She never really quite got over his death. It probably was the catalyst for her own deterioration. Not even a year had passed before she started forgetting things. I did my best taking care of her on my own, but once it began to affect my schoolwork the state became involved. That's when things changed. The only person able to take on the responsibillty was my uncle TBD, in Key West. Not that he wanted it, but he was left with no choice and at the mention of additional income he jumped on the chance. He placed my nana in a nursing home as soon as he got the chance, leaving me to fend for my own. I didn't mind this part. After all I had been doing it my whole life.
Moving to Florida was like landing on the moon. I grew up in a sleepy desert town where watching the red sun set behind the mountains was considered fun. Here the colors hadn't faded, but once again I walked in a place of shadows out of sync with the rest of the world around me. I was, however determined not to be the wierd new girl, and so I smiled when it was called for and made nice to the people around me. I went through the motions everyday and no one knew the better. I even started dating and eventually became a steady item with TBD. For the longest time I thought that this was it. This was as good as it was going to get. But then I met Radley. Like full blown technicolor, he burned into my eyes with a blinding fury that is forever scarred in my memory. He made me dream and wish on stars and hope that maybe this wasn't the end. That maybe this world had more to give. But after having lived so long in shadows, how does one become accustomed once again to the day?
facts;
• Emily Lauren Grey
• June 18, 1992 in Mesa, Arizona.
• Has a cat named Figaro.
• She visits her grandmother at the home 3 times a week.
• Has had a steady boyfriend in florenz for 2 years.
• Has the bad habit of randomly scribbling on things.
• Hates the fact that she is so responsible and internally feels like she carries around the weight of the world.
• Has an odd and sometimes inappropriate sense of humor.
• Likes wearing overalls.
• Her best friend is alexiak
• Is secretly in love with saan.
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